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Hi! I’m Trip Kimball

My latest book is available on Amazon! Glimmers of Light in the Darkness of Life

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The Deep Dark Pit of Selfishness and Self-Pity

There is a tragedy that I have seen under the sun. It is a terrible one for mortals…

No matter how long he would have lived, it ⌊still⌋ would have been better for him to have been born dead…

Even if the rich person lives two thousand years without experiencing anything good—don’t we all go to the same place? (Eccl 6:1, 3, 7 GW) [context– Eccl 5:13–6:7]

How Selfishness and Self-Pity Become Dark

The most common trait of humans is our selfishness. Selfishness is seen in its purest form in children. Selfishness isn’t evil in nature, but a focus on our self—a sense of our singular identity.

Selfishness is a common trait that connects and separates us at the same time.

It connects us since it’s common to us all. But it separates us because we are all different. Each of us has our own identity. We have different likes and dislikes. We prefer one thing over another

Again, young children illustrate this well. One child wants to eat mac-and-cheese, while the other wants a burger. One child prefers apples, another loves strawberries.

At this simple level of preference and dislikes, selfishness isn’t much of a problem, except for the parents.

Selfishness becomes a problem when the preferences or choices of one person or group of people are in opposition to and infringe upon the rights and privileges of others. Then, selfishness can become abusive and oppressive.

In the case of children, one child bullies or manipulates another. In adults, this is magnified. A perfect illustration of this magnification is seen in politics and the recent cancel-culture, especially when it turns abusive and violent.

Selfishness also becomes a deep pit when it evolves into self-pity. Self-pity can appear passive at first but can easily turn aggressive and violent when unchecked.

When a young child throws a temper tantrum because they want their own way, it may seem comical or amusing. But when a tantrum spills over into rage, a person can turn violent towards themselves or others.

Suicides tend to grow out of depression and self-pity, which brings a sense of hopelessness. This may be an oversimplified view, but suicides and murders are typically the product of self-focused hate and rage.

When selfishness and self-pity go unchecked, they become a deep dark pit.

Insights

Once again, Solomon returns to his cynical view of life in relation to a person’s wealth. Does it seem contradictory to what he concludes at the end of Chapter 5? It is.

Solomon returns to his lament about the unfairness of life when it ends, as he complained before about a rich person’s wealth going to others after death (Eccl 2:17-23; 5:13-17). But here, it takes a darker turn.

Solomon compares death’s inevitable impact on the life of a wealthy person to a stillborn child. He adds a second question to the first one asked at the beginning of Ecclesiastes.

Up to now, the underlying question Solomon asks is, “What’s the point of life on earth?” Now, he extends this by asking, “What’s the difference between a stillborn child’s existence and what appears to be the full life of a wealthy person?”

It’s important to notice how Solomon frames these two questions.

First, Solomon sees a great tragedy in “life under the sun”— “There is a tragedy that I have seen under the sun. It is a terrible one for mortals.” Another version uses the word evil instead of tragedy in this first verse.

Solomon then questions the value of life itself. He sees the rich man who can’t enjoy his wealth and who loses it all in death as no better off than a stillborn child. The stillborn child only knows darkness but finds more rest than the rich man.

A third way Solomon frames this terrible tragedy is with a what-if scenario. He gives us a hypothetical question, not a true observation.

Suppose a rich person wasn’t satisfied with good things ⌊while he was alive⌋ and didn’t even get an honorable burial ⌊after he died⌋. Suppose he had a hundred children and lived for many years. No matter how long he would have lived, it ⌊still⌋ would have been better for him to have been born dead. (Eccl 6:3 GW)

This is a very dark and cynical view of life.

Solomon is seeing this from an earthly viewpoint. This earthly view of life excludes God and holds no hope of anything but life from birth to death. This is the view of the atheist and also of modern existentialist philosophy.

It is a hopeless view. A view of life without the hope of resurrection from the dead.

When we compare our life to others, we can easily fall into a negative perception of what they have or don’t have that’s different from our life.

When we question the value of life based on the negative perception of our own life, we descend into a pit of darkness that gets deeper and deeper as we pity ourselves with envy or hate for others.

This is how selfishness and self-pity become a deep dark pit.

Existential Reflections

We are all selfish by nature. We were born with it.

And we all feel sorry for ourselves at times.

The only way to keep selfishness and self-pity growing into a deep dark pit is by maintaining a healthy perspective. In order to this, we need to be grounded in the truth about ourselves, life and the world around us, and God.

The truth is objective. It’s not based on feelings or immediate circumstances or the opinion of people.

We need to accept the truth about who we are. We don’t need to be the best looking, strongest, wealthiest, most popular person, or whatever other measurements we apply in comparison to others.

There will always be someone who is more this or that than us based on these comparative metrics.

We need to avoid getting sucked into the comparison game. Besides, such comparative measurements are subjective and change with time and the swings of culture.

If your perception of the world around you is based on what cable news networks and social media put out, you’re setting yourself up for failure. The projected darkness in this world will get more intense.

How can we avoid falling into this deep dark pit?

Sometimes, the simplest way to get a fresh and objective perspective on life in this world is to take a walk, enjoy some sunshine or time in nature, reflect on the good things in your life, and be thankful.

If you want the truth about God, the simplest thing to do is read His written Word—the Bible. Find a readable Bible version and just begin to read. The Gospels are a good place to start and either Psalms or Proverbs are good too.

If reading isn’t your thing or is difficult for you, you can listen to it read for free. The YouVersion Bible app has many versions available in audio, such as the ESV, NIV, or NKJV.

As you read or listen, think about what you’re reading (listening to) and take some notes. You can meditate on or prayerfully process what God’s Spirit brings to your attention.

Here’s a final thought for these opening verses of Ecclesiastes Chapter 6—

Life has purpose and value because it’s a gift from God.

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. (Gen 1:27 NKJV)

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first-fruits of all he created. (James 1:17-18 NIV)

How do we keep from falling into the deep dark pit of selfishness and self-pity?

Don’t focus on yourself or your circumstances.

Don’t focus on or compare yourself to others.

Focus on the Lord and His goodness, and enjoy the beauty of all He’s created.


This is an excerpt from my newest book available on Amazon! Glimmers of Light in the Darkness of Life

The Scripture text for this devotional study can be found by clicking the blue button link– “Ecclesiastes Chap 6” [I’ve used God’s Word Translation (GW) for ease of reading but the button link will take you to the text in a parallel version with the NKJV text.]

Also, for further commentary, I recommend Enduring Word by Ptr David Guzik.

The Frustrations and Questions of an Unsatisfied Life

Life's Reward, God's Gift, and a Heart Full of Joy

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